My circumstances grew unendurable as I reached adulthood. I was sexually harassed. Close friendships began disintegrating. Inpatient therapy nearly cost me an acceptance letter. Despite receiving that letter, my grades suffered because of my mental disorders that consumed my time and energy. I had no motive to finish the fall semester. I dropped out of college uncertain of what the next few months were going to look like. I felt disconnected, hypervigilant, and repentant. Self-harm, alcoholism, and bulimia failed to end any enduring pain. My addictions only kept the flame alive, severing the nerves attached to my brain. However, these struggles became the foundation for my book. I strived to bring light to those who were struggling, even if it was just for a few pages. There were times where I wanted to die. There were other times that I became close. Here is the story of what almost was the end of my life.