In the first book inspired by their wildly popular podcast, Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson have tried their hardest to produce an authoritative guide to the past, present, and future world of football. But, as in the podcast, they tend to get a bit side-tracked. As well as bringing you some (fairly) genuine football facts ’n’ stats, Bob and Andy get waylaid with speculation about the lifestyle of baked bean-loving, yellow snake-owning former England boss Steve McClaren. There’s also input from the Secret Soccer Superstar—a former player who lifts the lid on what it’s really like to be a top, top pro. In keeping with the occasional non-football vibe of the podcast, there’s also lifestyle hacks, domestic appliance tips, and meat advice, as well as Bob and Andy’s fact-files on each other and a definitive guide to lifting up celebrities. In summary, it’s a bit of a mess. BUT, it’s a beautiful, glorious, hilarious mess . . . and if you’re not reduced to at least one convulsion while reading it, Bob and Andy are going to be very disappointed with you indeed. In fact, they might come round to your house and force you to KISS THE ALDERMAN!