My name is Secret, and I begin this chapter. My father wasn't in the picture, and I had to see how to fit in the picture of his family. I grew up around, but not with, my cousins who all lived together in their home. They could have easily been mistaken for the kids you play with that you just saw on playdates, but we had memories that meant more. My visits were brief when I visited like a visitor. Time didn't allow me to bond the same when I came and went. When the father that connects you is absent, it's up to the mother to provide glue with his side of the family for you.I moved and grew up, and that made the distance even further to the point where it was a long-distance relationship. I cared but didn't care or know them well enough to love them like family members do. I was never blind that I had family, so when a tragedy hit, I was there, and we were put to the test to connect. A family vacation with my estranged family is the start of this series. That means I had to build a home of relationships, which came with drama, emotions, strong opinions, love, and disconnect. Love needed to be the outcome but where you are challenged you face challenges.