A state department employee carrying top secret documents has been kidnapped, even though he was guarded by the Lincoln bedroom janitor, and now he is being held by nudists members of the Church of the Holy Tryst. The Secretary of State knows the documents must be retrieved at any cost, but he doesn't trust any of the government security agencies, so he turns to his pot smoking aide and a band of misfit citizens who are pledged to save the country to get the job done. As time is running out, the cross-country race to save America gets even weirder. Following their leader Paulie, the disc jockeys, a one-eyed demolition expert, a sex starved Russian woman and the others follow clues that lead them right to the nation's capitol. Along the way, they are chased by cartels and attacked by hillbillies and hitmen. As the story unfolds, burning questions spawn. Can they find the kidnapped janitor and courier and save America?