How does a teenage girl manage hormones, burglars, and reptiles in the midst of a crisis at her family's miniature golf course in the wild state of Florida, circa 1992? This humorous, absurd, and fast-paced story follows Janie Jarvis, a fierce, feisty, 17-year-old who navigates the ridiculous situations around her while coming to terms with her own faults over the course of homecoming week in a small Central Florida town. Janie faces a masked attacker while alone at her parents' mini-golf business. Events of the week leading up to this moment shine light on the potential identity of the culprit. Could it be the hot jock she's hooking up with, or his frustrated, vengeful, popular girlfriend? Perhaps the bad guy is the dirty cop who hits on her, or the awkward new boy her dad hired. Swoony first love, sinkholes, lunchroom brawls, teenage sex tapes, and family secrets abound. Janie navigates these events with wit, while attempting to be the best daughter and friend possible. Can she succeed?