"After Evan's passing, I do not know how many times a day I would ask myself, "when will my life finally be back to normal or even halfway normal, maybe even at a point where I no longer hated the world and all the fucking normal people in it!" I would look at families and instantly be jealous and angry at what they had!
There was no reason for me to be so angry and hateful with these people other than I no longer had a husband, and my children no longer had their father. I was angry at family, friends, and complete strangers.
Each and every day would be a struggle and a reminder for me and the kids that Evan wasn't going to be walking through that front door ever again! In my mind, I felt the better I played the part of normal, the better off my kids would be emotionally.
Even if that meant, in my world, I would continue to deny that Evan was gone.
"