Advanced meditators are more interested in observing the mind and getting to know it intimately than in controlling or shaping it. The most common mistake regular meditatiors make is trying too hard to shape awareness. This just makes consciousness tense and scattered.
Meanwhile, the mind can quiet itself if we soften and give it space. However, if we soften too quickly, old habits of mental rambling can take over. With practice, we learn when awareness needs our support and when it is wisest to just get out of its way. As we do this wisely, our sense of being a separate self fades away.