How often have you been at 35,000 feet and heard the flight attendant announce "Do we have anyone here who can fly a 757?" and it's not you? When is the last time you sliced open a papaya in front of expectant dinner guests and the whole thing was full of big wriggling maggots? How many times have you built a perpetual motion machine, only to see it stop? NEVER AGAIN.... If you read this book. These vital questions along with over a dozen others are answered with entertaining wit and clarity, equipping you for life's emergencies and opportunities. How to Fly an Airplane, Beat Blackjack, Play the Piano, Lose Weight, Perform the World's Best Magic Trick, Obtain Free Postage, See Everything that Ever Happened, Get Even With a Crooked Cabdriver - these are but a few of the life skills readily learned from this marvelous and deranged guide to a better life. No cocktail table, bathroom or recycling bin should be without this book! WARNING - contains absolutely no Adult Content or significant literary value. The illustrations are worse. The whole thing is non-classifiable.