Tom Beresford is a waster-but one with pretensions to write. When his draft science fiction novel attracts the interest of otherworldly readers, Tom is recruited to help thwart the machinations of aliens who see the human race as little more than the cast of an immense, poorly scripted soap opera.
As Tom seeks to uncover subliminal extra-dimensional messages for his unusual new patron, he soon discovers that he is not the only one to hold the role of alien familiar. With his newfound friends, he sets out to unravel a conspiracy that threatens the fine city of Norwich, its people, and its unofficial saint, Delia Smith.
Fail in their mission, and the city faces carnage; succeed, and a whole lot of people will avoid a whole lot of aggro. And better still, the city's beloved football team might just make it into the Premier League.