An album as glorious as it is disposable,
Pleasureman
is a slick piece of Eurotrash that answers burning questions like "What would it sound like if
John Holmes
fronted
la Bouche
?" and "What would it be like if
Dirk Diggler
had gone club instead of
hair metal
?" What
"I'm Too Sexy"
was to the '90s,
"Ding Dong Song"
is to the 2000s, at least in Europe, where
Guenther
's ode to that funny tingle down there ("Oooooh, you touch my Tra-La-La/My ding, ding dong") unseated
Crazy Frog
as the king of
novelty
club
hits, ringtones, and all that is sparkling Euro-cheese. Course,
is more ironic than
, although there's no audible smirking and the irony is buried so deep, it's easy for the listener to unashamedly don the headphones and channel all the machismo the universe holds. Most of the tracks brilliantly mimic mainstream
Euro-dance
with
offering seductive and suggestive
spoken word
on top, along with a heaping helping of guttural "mmmmmmm"s and "ahhhhhhh"s (example: "It's you and me/And pina colada/Mmmmm!/Ahhhhhh!"). His faceless and luminous background singers
the Sunshine Girls
deliver the sugary melodies and there are a whole lot of castanets and references to tan lines, vacations, and "hot, hot summer love." Oddball of the lot is
"One Night Stand,"
an electroclashy stomper that wouldn't be totally out of place on
DJ Hell
's
International Deejay Gigolo Records
, but
works best when it shoots for the top of the charts with worthy
"Ding Dong"
follow-ups like
"Tuttifrutti Summerlove"
and
"Teeny Weeny String Bikini."
If you have any doubts that this is the best that camp-
dance
has to offer, know that the legendary
Samantha Fox
makes a guest appearance on the cover version of her career-defining
"Touch Me."
This ain't Viagra, it's Spanish Fly, or as
says, "It's a no-no/And you'll like it." ~ David Jeffries