There were two broken records playing over and over in my head. One was remembering all the good times we had together and the other was screaming in neon lights BETRAYAL! I wanted the chaos in my mind to stop. I wanted silence. I didn't want to think or feel. I wanted sleep but even that was fitful and cruel. I'd wake up and find myself snuggled against Deonte and cursing myself for showing him any sort of affection. Yet, I couldn't help myself. I loved him and I wanted to feel the warmth of his body and his touch. But, when he did touch me all I did was cry. Betrayal is hell on earth. It's worse than the most painful disease. The pain never ceases. There's no escaping a betrayed heart which resides inside you.