Long-term love isn't supposed to feel like walking on eggshells or slowly drifting into roommate status.
It's meant to grow you. To ground you. To feel like home-even when life gets hard.
The 11 Vows of Intentional Partnership
is a real, honest roadmap for what happens
after
the honeymoon ends. Written by trauma specialist and educator
Trey Malicoat, M.S.
, this book doesn't romanticize partnership-it respects it. It walks you straight into the real questions:
What do you do when the chemistry fades?
How do you stay when leaving might be easier?
How do you repair after disappointment, disconnection, or years of just "getting by"?
Rooted in nervous-system science, decades of clinical work, and Trey's own lived experience, this book reframes long-term love as a series of
intentional vows
-not just words you say once, but practices you return to over and over again:
The Vow of Presence - Show up, even when you'd rather shut down.
The Vow of Maintenance - Tend to love before it breaks.
The Vow of Tending - Process your pain; don't weaponize it.
The Vow of Renewal - Keep choosing each other, not just the memory.
The Vow of Sacred Selfishness - You can't pour from an empty cup.
The Vow of Ugliness - Let your partner see you at your worst.
The Vow of Boredom - Treat the ordinary as sacred.
The Vow of Forgiveness - Release resentment or let it kill you.
The Vow of Desire - Prioritize touch, even when you're tired.
The Vow of Protection - Defend your partnership from the world.
The Vow of Legacy - Build something worth remembering.
Inside, you'll find:
Straight-talking insight about why the honeymoon
has
to end-and why that's actually sacred.
Stories from real couples navigating boredom, resentment, grief, desire, and repair.
Nervous-system-aware guidance that helps you understand why you shut down, explode, or disappear-and how to do something different.
Practical frameworks, reflection prompts, and "try this in real life" practices you can start using today.
This book is for you if:
You love your partner, but you feel lonely, tired, or disconnected in the relationship.
You feel more like co-parents or co-managers than lovers or friends.
You're rebuilding after a hard season-betrayal, loss, illness, financial strain, or emotional disconnection.
You're a queer couple or a non-traditional partnership and you're tired of relationship advice that doesn't see you.
Whether you read it alone, together, or with a therapist,
will help you interrupt the slow fade, name what's really happening between you, and begin building a partnership that is conscious, resilient, and deeply human-one intentional vow at a time.