Dante Alighieris Divine Comedy really needed to be updated. After all, it was written what 700, 800 years ago? Hell needed to be reorganized, not only because of overcrowding but also because the 20th and 21st centuries have seen creative new sins that Dante could never have imagined. Purgatory now is more like a treatment center, and those entering have admitted that they are powerless over Sin and their souls have become unmanageable. There they meet their guardian angel who serves the role not only of a counselor, but also as a tutor who can bring them up to speed on the latest technologies. Paradise is more like a graduate curriculum plus boot camp where the adventuring soul can train to become one of the Heavenly Host. This updated version of the Comedy attempts to answer the questions of why evil exists, who is God, what is the purpose of life, and all kinds of stuff like that. Enjoy.