National Emergency Alert!
Please remain indoors. If you are outside, seek shelter immediately. Dangerous individuals have been identified nationwide attacking nonviolent citizens. The National Guard has been deployed to key areas and sensitive positions throughout the city. The CDC has confirmed that what we are seeing is, in fact, the reanimation of corpses that have been bitten by the so-called cannibals. We have no reports on how often the deceased are reanimating, how long it takes them to do so, or what the chances are of someone coming back. Please remain calm. Help is on the way.