After a twenty five year career consisting of overseas combat and police work at home, the author thought he had could handle anything. That is, until the unexpected suicide of his soldier son almost broke him. Throwing himself into work to escape the sorrow, dealing with ever growing guilt over the loss of his son, relentless stress and deepening depression almost drove the author to his own early grave. But, through his incredible resilience and unbreakable determination to keep going for his wife and daughters, the author found peace and new life. This book is a graphic, raw, and candid look at the author's personal story that will take the reader on a journey around the world and to the darkest corners of depression before welcoming the joy that comes with healing and time.