Lounge lizard. International man of misery. Space cadet. Dog walker. Lover. Loner. Fighter. Fool. Vic Valentine has been all of these things and more, and less-much less. These fourteen torrid tales of forbidden love, shameless lust, surrealistic horror, existential mystery, pointless mayhem, and just plain stupidity spanning Vic's entire pathetic life collectively illuminate the darkest corners of the human condition, without revealing a single god damn truth, other than we're all lonely globs of ephemeral flesh wandering aimlessly around a big ball of shit hanging by a thread in a vast, apathetic void. Welcome to the hypnotic, erotic, neurotic world of Vic Valentine, Private Eye.