These writings are gritty, impacting the reader in a blunt and brutal manner. They speak of a life on the streets, riding the rails, homelessness and fear-fullness, loneliness, desperation and futility, and, ultimately, hope and recovery. The author suffers from one of our Militaries dark secret's, MST/PTSD {Military Sexual Trauma related PTSD]. This person was brutally attacked by five crew-member's aboard the USS Dixie[AD14}, a destroyer Repair ship, deployed to the Philippine islands in the summer of 1974.He was attacked for two "reason's", openly sharing his Christianity, and for displaying emotion[crying]upon leaving his wife, pregnant with twins, 10 days before their delivery. He was brutally attacked, beaten and raped repeatedly with a grease gun aboard this ship. He was threatened with being thrown over-board [while 1000 mile's at sea], if he ever spoke of this, and, finally, had to face his attacker's for the next 1.5 years afterwards. His faith in God was shattered, he is emotionally "dead" to this day, cannot experience the feeling of love. This incident was followed by 40 yrs. Of alcohol and drug addiction, 10 yrs. Of homeless-ness, 5 of them spent riding freight trains around the country, 5 spent hitch-hiking as a life-style. He is shackled by all of the symptoms of chronic PTSD. He has been through 8 different treatment centers, including the V.A. treatment center for Chronic PTSD in Bay Pine's, Fla. Lastly, as a direct result of these symptom's, he was required to resign his last job of 15 yrs., and lost a marriage of 17 yrs. His writings are part of his personal therapy, with the hope of impacting other Veteran's, and of showing the price the American Veteran continues to pay for his Service, years after that service ended.